I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
