first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i will never coherently bang her
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
