Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
from now on my penis is your penis
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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