i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
