love makes seman taste better
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
