Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
