Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize