he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
