Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
