Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
