I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
