I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
