i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
