Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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