Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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