Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
