it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
