She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
