I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Someone signed my nipple.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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