If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
