I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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