You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
