I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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