i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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