she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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