Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
