I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
