Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
