"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
