I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
