The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
