I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
