Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
