Please, let me fuck your mom
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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