I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
