i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
