So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
