Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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