this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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