So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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