i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
