do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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