"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
