You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
