I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
