Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
