drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
