I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
