Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
