she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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