He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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