Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
